III: Postmortem
There was an ever-expanding void, a vast nothingness in all directions. In what seemed like an instant, she became aware of it and herself within the nothingness. At least she thought that she was a woman. She wasn’t sure. She couldn’t remember anything before the void, just this odd sensation that she couldn’t shake. After mulling over what this sensation was, she decided that it was sorrow. Unsure why she felt this sorrow without context, she continued to drift in this timeless expanse. Without warning, her senses all started to flood her mind at once. The sensory overload filled her mind with pain as sounds from all around her rattled around inside her head. All kinds of smells registered one after the other, but she was unsure whether she was actually experiencing them or remembering them all at once. The temperature fluctuations she suddenly felt seemed unnatural, one second she was cold, and then hot, and then different parts of what she realized was her body felt different temperatures. Her legs were freezing yet her arms were hot, her fingers were cold in protest.
After realizing she could feel her body, she tried to move through all of this torture, but even that was a challenge. It was a struggle simply to move her fingers. The sheer weight was tremendous. While all of this continued to bombard her, she continued to drift in the nothingness, and she clung to the sorrow she felt and used it to push the pain away. It was the only thing that she had that wasn’t trying to hurt her in some way. Using that as an anchor, she pushed through the pain and heaviness, resolved to move her extremities. It took some time and effort but after a while she was able to move her fingers and toes. Or at least she decided they were hers. The only one of her senses to not return was her sight. She continued with her efforts, focusing on the sorrow and pushing the pain to the side. She could now feel her arms moving. With just as much effort, she got her legs to move.
There wasn’t much more she could do while she floated in the emptiness. She had no real way of knowing how long she had aware of where she was, or wasn’t. At times it felt like she had been there for a few hours, other times days. What made it harder to try and keep track of time was that she never felt tired enough to sleep. Attempting to remedy this, she started counting. When the pain overtook her willpower, her consciousness would slip for moments, moments with duration’s she couldn’t reckon. Out of spite, she held fast to her sorrow every time she bounced back from her slips. Even still, counting continued still resetting every time. Soon she stopped slipping all together. Time began to barely began to take shape in her existence. A couple of hours had passed since she started counting, roughly. Not really knowing how long it had been before the pain had started or when she snapped into awareness. She just continued to drift, yet she still fought the pain.
As she coasted in her open, empty world, for seconds, or years, she gradually came to realize that much of the pain from some of her senses had subsided. She couldn’t tell whether it was from her efforts or not. Perhaps her existence here was ending. Perhaps she had imagined the pain. She let her mind wander, not focusing on any one thought for too long. It was then that she realized that she didn’t know what her name was. She focused and strained to think but nothing came to mind. No other personal memories came back either. She couldn’t remember what she looked like, if she had family, or anything else that defined who she was. She even questioned if she were a woman or a man. Her head began to spin the more she thought about it and it almost felt as if her stomach was rising up. It took her an instant to recognize that she was actually feeling like she was falling.
Panic overtook her and she frantically reached into the darkness for any kind of salvation from the sensation. She kept reaching into the blind darkness for something that she wasn’t even sure existed. Faster still she continued to fall, and still there was nothing for her to cling onto. Then in an instant she collided with what felt like the softest bed of grass and she shot upright, reaching for something to connect with. A blanket rolled off of her as she sat on what she now guessed was a bed. With a bit of effort she slowly opened her eyes, letting the dim ambient light of the stormy world outside flood her eyes. Pain shot through them while her vision slowly adjusted.
“Try not to strain yourself too much. It’s hard on all of us when we come back the first time. You’ll be fine in no time, you’ll see.” She could tell the whispered voice was in the same room she was in and it sounded like a man. After a few more attempts, she was finally able to open her eyes and take in her surroundings. She sat on a bed, in the middle of a room with two large windows. It was night and it was raining outside.
“How long have been here? Where is here and who are you?” She asked in a strained whispered voice. It almost didn’t feel like her own voice, not that she remembered what her voice sounded like.
“You’ve been here a few days now, lying in that bed. You’re in my home, or gilded cage depending on how you view. It sits just outside of Nova Flats. I guess you can call me Red. Everyone else does, or did. I haven’t had a lot of visitors here. Aside from the two of us, the only other people here are the house staff who double as my jailers in name only. We can get more into that some other time though,” Red said in the whispered voice. Red’s whispered voice was evenly calm to her. It was hard for her to discern if this was really happening. The sensation of just waking up was still weighing on her.
She still had some slight trouble making everything out in the dark room. A bolt of lightning streaked across the dark, rain-filled sky. Thunder and light flooded the room and she could see Red sitting in a chair at the other end. He faced the window, a cup of something in his hands.
“Get some more rest. I’ll explain everything in the morning. We can also figure out what to call you then as well. You’ll need all of your strength and wits about you. You don’t need to worry. You’re safe here. Nobody’s stupid enough to cause any trouble here,” Red said, as he continued to stare at the outside world. She continued to sit on the bed, not sure what to make of anything. Reluctantly she laid back down and stared at the ceiling, the storm casting dancing shadows onto the ceiling. She lost herself in the dance and found her mind drifting in every which way imaginable until she saw felt herself slip into sleep.